Sometimes...

Sometimes it’s hard to remember I am not allowed to care, to feel bad when you've been hurt or someone has done you wrong.

Sometimes it’s impossible to keep in mind I am not supposed to smile, to laugh around you, because it only ends in sadness, despair and the same old pain.

Sometimes it’s unfeasible for me to forget I still have feelings, still want to see you happy, and still worry when I see the injuries on your skin.

Sometimes it’s impractical for me not to show concern, not to be upset, not to try to help though it’s simply my nature and I've done it for so very long.

Sometimes it’s unreasonable to consider why I’m not allowed to show concern anymore, no longer permitted to become distressed over what happens to you.

Sometimes it’s difficult to force myself not to touch you, take care of you, and do what I always do.

And then, suddenly, I  remember why... because you didn't want me to.